Category Archives: uncategorized

So, I finally went to the doctor tonight about my little bronchial problem. As I expected, I have bronchitis. I’ve had no decent voice since last Tuesday, which meant I was unable to run worship team practice on Wednesday and unable to sing in church on Sunday morning. For me, being unable to sing is a lot like being paralyzed. At any rate, I’m starting to find doctors annoying. Here’s what was said, along with the unspoken subtext.

Doctor: Wow, looks like you don’t come here very often.
Translation: Wow, we’re not making any money off of you.

Me: I was here in September.
Translation: Yes, you’re right.

Doctor: Ah, yes. For your foot. How’s that doing?
Translation: Is there anything billable there?

Me: Fine.
Translation: It still hurts but you’re not coming anywhere near my foot with a needle, Doc.

Doctor: Have you had a full workup lately? Had your cholesterol checked?
Translation: You need a checkup there, fatty.

Me: Yeah, there was this health fair thing at work.
Translation: I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Doctor: So what brings you here tonight?
Translation: Dang, you look like crap.

Me: Well, I don’t usually sound like this.
Translation: What do you think, dufus?

Doctor (listening to my lungs with stethoscope): Sounds raspy.
Translation: Are your lungs filled with small pieces of jagged, rusty metal?

Me: Cough cough cough.
Translation: Cough cough cough.

And so on and so forth. I really kinda ran out of steam there. Should have thought that out a bit more. Sorry about that.

So now I’m ZMax, a single dose version of Zithromax. It’s a powder, and you stir it into water, chug it down, and it stays with you for ten days. Side effects may include upset stomach, diarrhea, headache, and other lovelies.

But with any luck, I’ll have some of my voice back for worship team practice tomorrow night.

More info (and download links) here.

Lots of goodies in this release. Here’s a quick list. Visit the above link for the full details.

– Real HTML Previews (uses IE on Windows and WebKit/Safari on Mac OS X)
– Completely retooled FTP code (and I mean completely)
– iTunes-compatible Podcasting (according to a new federal law, all new software releases must deal with podcasting in some way)
– New Tags
– Media Folder (for storing all those podcasts, of course!)
– Static Content (pages that aren’t time-sensitive)
– Consolidated Publishing (publish everything from one window now)
– New log window (lots of good info in there)
– Redesigned Wizard and Preferences (hopefully easier to navigate and use)
– Skin Support (download third party templates or share your own)
– Ugli Integration (the skinning tool is now built-in)
– Preview Pane Template (so you can see things the way you want to see them)
– Interface Improvements (some big things and some little things)

Enjoy!

I’m going to bed.

Zeldman: If Steven created the site with CGI and Perl and used tables for layout, sickness this is the story of a boy who made a website for his own amusement, pilule perhaps gaining social points in the process. He might even contribute to a SXSW Interactive panel.

But if Steven used AJAX and Ruby on Rails, Yahoo will pay millions and Tim O’Reilly will beg him to keynote.

Good stuff. I love Zeldman.

Jim Carrey, Weirdo Freak, 1962
Susanna Hoffs, Musician/All-Around Hottie, 1959
Benjamin Franklin, Inventor/Statesman/Pervert, 1706
Betty White, Annoying, 1922
James Earl Jones, The Voice of Darth Vader, 1931
Shari Lewis, Lamb Chop’s Sidekick, 1934
Mack Sennett, The Spike Lee of his Generation, 1880
Andy Kaufman, Mighty Mouse Fan, 1949
Pius V, Pope-Type Dude, 1504
Brad Rhine, Data Manager/Worship Leader, 1973

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

Reference

I call bullcrap.

My department has done many a great thing without being the least bit enthused about it.

Via Bash:

“The very existance of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to'”

Reference

Will you be there? I will. This year, I have the honor of being a presenter. Here are the details of my session:

Using REALbasic in a K12 Support Setting: A Case Study
This session details some of the ways that REALbasic can be used to save money and improve processes in an educational setting, although many of the concepts apply to other environments as well. The session will include learning about some of the advantages of in-house development, automating workflows, using REALbasic as a database front end, and a demonstration and discussion of Kodiak, the student information system made possible and powered by REALbasic. The Kodiak discussion will feature the details of design, testing, training, and deployment that went into a successful internal product launch.

So, yeah, I’m pretty excited. I’ve been to REAL World twice now, but only as an attendee. I’m thrilled and honored to be presenting how I use REALbasic in my job. And I’m really psyched about the chance to demonstrate Kodiak and talk about all the work and planning that went into launching it.

For those who don’t know, Kodiak is the student information system I’ve been developing at work over the past year and a half. Existing solutions simply didn’t meet our needs, so I started building one from scratch.

And no, the name Kodiak has nothing to do with smokeless tobacco. It has to do with bears.

Anyway, I know at least a few readers of this weblog will be there, so I’ll see you in Austin!

MacWorld 2006 is getting ready to roll into high gear. The SteveNote is Tuesday. I’m expecting some big announcements this year. In fact, one friend recently informed me that he was told that the news would be so exciting he should wear diapers that day.

I don’t think I’ll wet myself. It would have to be pretty huge for that to happen. Like a free PowerBook every year for the rest of my life for me and and each member of my family.

But I doubt that’s what they’ll announce. Here’s my picks:

– Nothing iPod-related: I love the iPod. I really do. But can we talk about something else for a change, Apple?
Verdict: Well, Steve sure did talk a lot about the iPod, but nothing new was introduced except for the FM tuner thingy.

– iLife 06: Seems like a no-brainer. Some nifty new, but minor, features in iPhoto and GarageBand. Rumor has it Apple will announce iWeb, an easy-to-use HTML editor. I hope they do. It would be great to have something to fill the gap so long left vacant by Claris HomePage.
Verdict: Yep, iLife 06 with iWeb. I didn’t expect such a heavy emphasis on podcasting, though. Cool stuff.

– iWork 06: Pages 2, Keynote 3, and Numbers 1. Numbers is the rumored spreadsheet app. I would love to see an Apple-branded, Excel compatible spreadsheet app. I would leave Excel so quick its head would spin, if it had a head and were sentient.
Verdict: Dang! Crap! I mean, yeah, iWork 06 and everything, but where’s the spreadsheet? Phooey. Although I must admit that Pages is rapidly becoming my favorite word processor. He stays out of my way and lets me work, just like his father AppleWorks.

– Intel-based PowerBook: The current rumors are all about the iBook getting the Intel makeover first, but let’s face facts: the PowerBook is looooong overdue for a major overhaul. Here’s to a 3 GHz PowerBook. Mmmmmmm.
Verdict: MacBook Pro? Ewww. That’s a terrible freakin’ name. Sounds like some crappy accounting package from the 80s. As I wrote to the RB List, I never thought Apple would come up with a worse product name than Performa, but it appears I have underestimated them. I still want one, though, as soon as they make 17″ model.

– Intel-based Mac mini: Super fast Mac mini with the Front Row treatment. It will be the centerpiece of my home theater when I finish by basement later this spring.
Verdict: Huh. iMac. Interesting.

– One more thing: In classic Steve Jobs style, he’ll announce “one more thing” at the end of the keynote, almost as an afterthought. I don’t know what it will be, but I think it will have to do with home video/home theaters, and I think it will be something from out of left field.
Verdict: Or not.

So there’s my list. What are your predictions for Tuesday?

Gracie went to the neighbor girl’s birthday party yesterday morning. It was held at Leisure Lanes, the local bowling alley. I haven’t bowled in years, but it was fun. There were about a half dozen girls in Lane 1, and about a half dozen boys in Lane 2. Jen and I later rented Lane 3 so she could whoop me a couple times.

The bowling alley has a computerized scoring system, which is wonderful, since I never quite grasped the specifics of scoring the game. Each player enters his or her name into the computer, and when it’s your turn, your name is displayed in big letters on the screen. However, due to space and/or resolution constraints, only the first six letters of your name are displayed when it’s your turn; if the screen displayed more, there wouldn’t be room for all ten frames and your total score. Personally, I would have just used a slightly smaller font, but that was the decision that was made.

This six-letter truncation was most apparent yesterday when a young lad named Christopher bowled his first frame. His truncated appeared in large letters on the screen: CHRIST. Amy, the birthday girl’s mother, noticed first and announced to everyone that Christ was in the bowling alley. We all had a good laugh (I mean, sure, it wasn’t side-splittingly funny, but it was a good try). As the laughter subsided, Bob, the birthday girl’s father, quietly said, “He just had a big birthday or something, didn’t he?” Now that one got me. Most of the folks either didn’t hear it or didn’t quite get the reference, but I was laughing at that well into the evening.

And for those of you keeping score at home, no, I didn’t break 100 yesterday. But I’m OK with that.

Dear Microsoft Excel,

I hope this letter finds you well and that you had an enjoyable holiday season.

I wanted to take a moment to answer some of the questions you’ve been asking me, and also to ask you a few questions of my own.

First, no, I don’t care to use the List Wizard, but thank you for asking. Actually, please allow me to clarify: thank you for asking the first time. The last several hundred times you asked me were, frankly, rather annoying. I thought you would eventually get the message, but I may have misjudged your perception of the situation, Microsoft Excel. Again, just to be quite clear: I have neither the desire nor the intention to use the List Wizard. If, by some freak series of bizarre events beyond my control, I should decide to try the List Wizard, I will be certain to tell you; in fact, you will be the first to know. By the way, Microsoft Excel, please tell your friend Word that I also don’t need his help writing letters; I’ve been writing and formatting my own letters for several decades, and I do hold a BSE in English Education from Millersville University, so it’s not as if I’m new to this whole “letter writing” thing.

Secondly, I am well aware that saving a as tab-delimited text will prevent me from using some of your special features. To put it bluntly, I don’t really care. I don’t use most of your features anyway, Microsoft Excel. You seem quite anxious to make sure all of my documents in your own proprietary format, almost obnoxiously so. Are you insecure about something? Are you afraid that if I store my spreadsheets as plain text, that I’ll switch to doing all my spreadsheet-related tasks in a text editor or in something like FileMaker Pro? Really, Microsoft Excel, the insecurity is growing tiresome. Please grow up and try to play nice with the other applications on my computer.

Which leads me to my first question for you. Why is it that when I do manage to save a file as tab-delimited text, you act as though I never saved it when I close the document. I mean, I just saved it, and I haven’t made changes since, so why do you prompt me to save changes? It’s rude, Microsoft Excel. It’s another example of you being pushy and trying to have everything your way. Well, guess what, Microsoft Excel? I’m the user. You will do it my way. I hate to be dogmatic about it, but that’s the cold, hard truth of the matter.

My second question is this: why do you insist on modifying the contents of my clipboard? Again, not to be dogmatic, but it’s my clipboard, and it’s sacred. When I put something there, I expect it to stay there until I replace it with something else, Microsoft Excel. If I highlight three columns and copy them, I expect to be able to paste them repeatedly. I don’t expect to have to select and copy them again. Quite frankly, Microsoft Excel, that ticks me off. I don’t mess with your resource fork, so keep your filthy hands off my clipboard. My clipboard, not yours.

And speaking of the clipboard, why do you feel the need to make sure I meant to copy that much data? If I grab a couple thousand rows and copy them with the intention of pasting them into another spreadsheet, or heaven forbid, another kind of document, like a SQL statement, why do you get all weird when I try to close the source document? I mean, I copied what I need onto the clipboard, so I don’t need the document to be open anymore. So why do you have to warn me that I have a lot on the clipboard? I know what’s on the clipboard, Microsoft Excel. I’m the one that put it there. It’s my clipboard, after all. And your offer to clear the clipboard when I close the document is, quite honestly, overstepping your bounds. You don’t always know what’s best, Microsoft Excel.

While we’re on the subject of you not knowing what’s best, leave my zeros alone. If I type “001” into a cell, it’s because those zeros mean something to me. If I wanted a “1” only, that’s what I would have typed. But since you insist on stripping out zeros that you consider to be insignificant, I have to create a new column, write a formula to format the numbers the way I want them, copy that new column, choose Paste Special from the Edit Menu, choose Values, then delete the original column. Do you have any idea how annoying that is, Microsoft Excel? Do you? Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in 2005 going through that very process? Let’s try to do better in 2006, shall we?

Another way you waste my time is by abandoning perfectly good keyboard shortcuts. I used to be able to press Command-D to fill down, but I can’t do that anymore. Why did you take that away from me, Microsoft Excel? Why? It worked so well. Now I have to take my hands off the keyboard and reach for the mouse. That slows me down, Microsoft Excel, and I’m a busy man.

I eagerly await your answers, Microsoft Excel.

In the meantime, despite my frustrations, I do not wish to end our relationship at this time. Even with all of your, shall we say, personality quirks, you are a valuable asset, and I can’t imagine doing my job without you.

Sincerely,
Brad Rhine

PS: Quit pretending to be a database. We both know it’s a lie, and sooner or later, you’ll be found out.