Chapter Titles In The Book I Someday Want To Write About My Son

I’ll probably never get around to writing this book, but I hope I do. I’d like to read it when it’s done. Should be interesting. Anyway, here, in no particular order, is a partial list of the chapter titles from the book.

Downtown
In which I discuss the circumstances in which we first found him.

A Tale Of Two Cities
In which I discuss our “courtship”: the expanse of time between meeting Jonathan and moving him into our home.

Free At Last, Free At Last
In which I discuss the days leading up to his adoption and the great relief we felt when it was finally done.

The Path Of Most Resistance
In which I discuss his tendency to perform every task in the most difficult, cumbersome, awkward way.

Love Will Tear Us Apart
In which I discuss the initial effects of Jonathan’s presence upon my marriage.

And Along Came Emmi
In which I discuss the birth of my first niece and the effect on Jonathan.

Millions Of Peaches
In which I discuss Jonathan’s uncanny ability to identify songs after one hearing and the possibility that his knowledge of alternative rock will someday be encyclopedic (assuming I can keep him from listening to too much of his sister’s Hannah Montana, which could corrupt him).

Can You Make It Bigger?
In which I discuss some of the peculiarities of Jonathan’s language development.

It’s My Birthday!
In which I discuss Jonathan’s early insistence that every day was birthday (and also the birthday of Joe from Blue’s Clues (Joe, by the way, is no Steve, and never will be)).

Pete And Repeat
In which I discuss the reasons why Jonathan’s media consumption is now very, very limited.

Angels Watching Over Us
In which I discuss Bethanna, and how very helpful they were to us throughout the process.

Kindred Spirits
In which I discuss the strange, unique, and strong bond between my father and my son.

Two Things

As evidenced by this photo:

1) We have another cat. I can’t believe we have another cat. I don’t even like cats. Her name is Maddie. She showed up on our neighbors’ back porch a couple weeks ago, and after a thorough but fruitless search for her true owner, they decided they might keep her. Then their dad said no. Smart man. I said yes, because I’m a sucker for a pretty face. She’s a cute kitten now, but soon she’ll be an evil cat, just like Jill.

2) The Apple Store at Park City is now open for business. We were in line shortly after 8:00 this morning and we got t-shirts. When we left the store, the line was still ridiculously long. Everybody I talked to that didn’t go to the store simply could not fathom what all the noise at the mall was about.

An Open Letter To The Tractor I Got Behind On My Way To Work Today

Dear Tractor I Got Behind On My Way To Work Today,

Was there really no other time you could have done that? Did you really and truly have to drive that tractor, at fifteen miles per hour, on Prospect Road, between Route 462 and Route 283, at 7:30 AM? You couldn’t have done it, say, last evening, or later this morning?

Either way, thanks for making me late for work.

Brad

Cover Songs

There’s nothing like a good cover song. These are some of the best.

  • “The Man Who Sold The World” by Nirvana (orig by David Bowie)
  • “Come On Eileen” by Save Ferris (orig by Dexy’s Midnight Runners)
  • “Hazy Shade Of Winter” by The Bangles (orig by Simon & Garfunkel)
  • “All Along The Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix (orig by Bob Dylan)
  • “Hurt” by Johnny Cash (orig by NIN)
  • “I’m A Believer” by Smash Mouth (orig by The Monkees)
  • “American Woman” by Lenny Kravitz (orig by The Guess Who)
  • “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” by Sugar Ray (orig by Joe Jackson)
  • “Tiny Dancer” by Ben Folds (orig by Elton John)
  • “Video Killed The Radio Star” by The Presidents Of The United States Of America (orig by The Buggles)
  • “Mad World” by Gary Jules (orig by Tears For Fears)
  • “Tired Of Waiting For You” by Green Day (orig by The Kinks)
  • “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley (orig by Leonard Cohen)
  • “I Will Survive” by Cake (orig by Gloria Gaynor)

And these are some of the worst.

  • “American Pie” by Madonna (orig by Don McLean)
  • “Brown Eyed Girl” by Everclear (orig by Van Morrison)
  • “Dock Of The Bay” by Michael Bolton (orig by Otis Redding)
  • “I’m A Man” by Chicago (orig by Spencer Davis Group)
  • “Sunny Afternoon” by Jimmy Buffett (orig by The Kinks)

What are your best and worst picks?