… and I’m a locksmith.
Just got this email:
I ordered one Apple iPhone 3GS 32GB from this website www.genuine188.com one weeks ago, today I’ve got it . Amazing,beyond my imagination, it’s genuine and as good as expected,but much cheaper. I’m pleased to share this good news with you! May all goes well for you.Best regards.
Seems legit. And to think it was only ordered one weeks ago!
The “Run Like a Dog” Workout:
(Including Warmup and Cooldown)
Walk 8 seconds.
Trot 4 seconds.
Sprint 7 seconds.
Walk 5 seconds in any direction but forward.
Stare 9 seconds.
Lunge at rabbit.
Double back, walk 3 seconds.
Repeat 6 times.
Collapse on rug.
From Runners’ World.
This is the best 419 scam email I’ve ever received. I’m so glad my spam filter didn’t catch it. Bonus points for an original take on a cliched genre. Email follow in its entirety.
INTERNATIONAL POLICE AUTHORITY UNITED STATES SECTION (IPA)
Region No. 2 New York City
P.O. Box 804 Knickerbocker Station
New York City, New York 10002-0804 USA
We, office of the international police authority (IPA) hereby write to inform you that we caught a diplomatic lady called Mrs. Vernon Wallace at (John F Kennedy International Airport) here in New York with a consignment box filed with United State Dollars.
Meanwhile, base on our interview to the diplomat she said that the consignment box belongs to you, that she was sent by one Williams I. Luis to deliver the consignment box to your doorstep not knowing that the content of the box is money. The diplomat also said that her first transit in the state was at Cincinnati Northern Kentucky International Airport Ohio.
Now, the diplomat is under detention in the office of (IPA) security, and we cannot release her until we carry out our proper investigation on how this huge amount of money managed to be yours before we will release her with the box.. So, in this regards you are to reassure and prove to us that the money you are about to receive is legal by sending us the Award Ownership Certificate showing that the money is not illegal.
Note, that the Award Ownership Certificate must to be secured from the office of the senate president in Nigeria, because that is the only office that will issue you the original Award Ownership Certificate of this funds, this is because the fund originated from Nigeria
You are advised to forward immediately the Award Ownership Certificate if you have it with you, but if you did not have it we will urge you to contact back the sender of the diplomat to help you secure the Award Ownership Certificate if at all you did not have it.
Below is the contact information of the person that sent the diplomat:
Name: Williams I. Luis
Furthermore, we are giving you only but 3 working business days to forward the requested Award Ownership Certificate. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 3 working business days, that if you didn’t come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundering, but if you forward the Award Ownership Certificate then we will release diplomat with your consignment box also gives you every back up on the money.
Thanks for your understanding and co-operation
I.P.A REGION NO:2
DCP. DOUGLAS H. KING
Cc: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI).
Cc: CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (CIA).
I came home from work to find my son wearing blue jeans and a black mock turtleneck, sovaldi looking for all the world like a very young Steve Jobs. This, of course, prompted my wife and me to take the following photograph:
Yeah, we may need to get out more.
From The Onion.
I’m always so proud to be both (1) from Central Pennsylvania and (2) working in K12 education. From the local education news:
A Pennsylvania high school ordered more than 450 shot glasses for its prom, a move the assistant principal now says sent the wrong message.
There’s failure… and then there’s epic failure.
Slightly off-color, but still funny.