Open Response to John Barnes

I’ve been getting some amazingly good junk mail lately. I got one tonight that I just can’t pass up; it requires a response. But emailing back to the sender is no fun, because I’d rather share the joy with you.

I visited today and really like it. You have a good clean layout.
Oh, thanks, John! I’ve spent a long time refining the design, and I’m grateful that you find it attractive.

I’ve found your website to be a good fit for our visitors.
That’s great! What kind of site do you have?

We run a Adult Lingerie & Sex Toy store and i would like to trade links with you. If you’d like to exchange links with us please add your inforamtion to our site at
Oh, my. Well, maybe you didn’t read my site as thoroughly as you thought. I’ve got no problem with lingerie, or course, but I don’t know if I want to advertise it on my personal weblog. And then, the whole “sex toy” thing might be a bit offputting for some of my readers (note to Mike: yes, not all readers, I know). Um, yeah. Oh, and you spelled “information” incorrectly.

You can see my site at I could give your site a prominent listing on my page at, if you would be willing to do the same.
Gee, I don’t know, John. I’d be kind of hesitant to link to your site at all. I try to run things in a pretty family-friendly way and everything. And you want a prominent listing no less? I think I’m going to have to go ahead decline this one, John. I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but, I just don’t see much of a business case for either of us in this. Thanks for thinking of me, though.

I won’t need his links soon anyway. I’ve got a business deal cooking with some dead general’s son from Nigeria. I should pocket about a million bucks on that one. Sweet. Long live the InterWeb!

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