Tag Archives: thankful

Today I am thankful for my son, Jonathan.

As I write this, I’m sitting in the waiting room of his therapist’s office, waiting for the 45 minutes to be up some can go home.

Jonathan has seen a lot of therapists and specialists and doctors and psychologists since we met him just under six years ago. He was about to have his fourth birthday at the time. Just after his birthday, he moved in with us, and about a year later, we went to the courthouse and officially adopted him.

He had a rough start to life, and he came to us with a lot of baggage. He’s still working through it all, and we still have a long way to go. That’s all on top of some physical medical issues that will likely never go away. Some of his diagnoses include reactive attachment disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, autism, organic brain damage, and expressive/receptive speech disorder. And that list isn’t exhaustive.

Raising Jonathan is hard. Some days it’s really hard and I don’t know if I can do it. By giving up isn’t an option, so we all press ahead, even when he’s defiant and demanding and aggressive. We choose to live for the moments when he’s quiet and charming and sweet. And they do happen. Maybe not as often as we’d like, but they do happen. Some days it seems like life will always be like this, and for all we know it will be.

But I’m thankful because Jonathan has taught me a lot. Aside from lots of information about various disorders, I’ve learned about unconditional love. My daughter Grace is easy to love, and she loves back without reservation. With Jonathan, love is a choice. When he hits and kicks and screams, I choose to love him. Because adopted or not, blood relation or not, I’m his dad, and that’s what dads do. They love their kids no matter what.

Today I am thankful for Jonathan.

Continuing with my thankfulness theme, today I am thankful for my daughter, Grace.

I am humbled and honored to be this girl’s father. I take no credit for what an amazing kid she is; she was born that way.

Her heart is bigger than it probably should be. She has more love to offer than I can imagine. This usually manifests itself as empathy for those who cannot take care of themselves, typically toward young children or animals. I have little doubt that she will one day have a house full or animals and perhaps adopted children. And I am always astonished at how well she treats and cares for her little brother, in spite of everything he puts her through.

She is creative and weird in wonderful ways, crafting bags, wallets, and even dresses from duct tape, constantly doing her brother’s hair is strange styles, and even designing complicated photo shoots for our pets, toys, and stuffed animals.

I begin every weekday with her. We’re the ones who get up earlier to get ready for school and work while the others sleep in a bit longer. I cherish these mornings with her, eating breakfast together, packing lunches, and trying to stay warm in the car while we wait for her bus to arrive.

We named her Grace because we truly view children as a gift from God. But I’ll tell you, we had no idea what a gift she would be.

I am thankful for Grace.

October is always a dark month for me. It starts to get colder, and I hate cold weather. The school year is getting into full swing, reminding me that I’m about to spend yet another year working in the public school system. And it’s the month that I remember my late son.

In fact, each yea, I’m usually thankful just to make it through October. So this year, I’ve decided to focus on that thankfulness, and what better time than November, leading up to Thanksgiving.

Each day, from now until Thanksgiving Day, I’ll write about something I’m thankful for, and why.

Starting today.

Today, I am thankful for my wife. I know that’s an obvious and easy choice to start with, but in this era of weak commitments and disposable marriages, I’m thankful for a faithful, loving, and beautiful wife.

We have been through a lot together over the past couple decades (we started dating in 1991 and got married in 1994). And I mean a lot: five homes, six foster children, three bands, four churches, one adoption, one stillbirth, one miscarriage, one dog, two cats, three fish, countless road trips, and one amazing daughter. Through it all, we have stood by each other, and we have not wavered in our commitment to each other.

And I couldn’t ask for a better mom for my kids. She is patient and kind with them, but firm when she needs to be. She consistently puts their needs above her own, even during her frequent illnesses and lupus flares.

And she is beautiful. And as if that weren’t enough, she gets more beautiful with each passing year.

Today I am thankful for my wife.