To People Who Visit My Home

I don’t know where this came from originally, but Nicole sent it to me today, and I love it.
1. The dog lives here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I, and so do you. What’s your point?
4. Of course he smells like a dog.
5. It’s his nature to sniff your crotch. Feel free to sniff his.
6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.
7. To you he’s a dog. To me he’s an adopted son, who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and doesn’t speak clearly. I have no problem with any of these things.
8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they accidentally get another dog pregnant… you can sell the pups.

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