Tonight, I sat down with my son and daughter (and my wife) to watch Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. My wife and daughter had, of course, seen it before on multiple occasions, but this was the first my son was exposed to it. We got through about the first 90 minutes before he was too tired to continue and had to go to bed.
One thing you need to know about my son is that he asks a LOT of questions. He’s eight years old, but a combination of trauma and possible brain damage (I’m not teasing or making fun; he’s adopted and had a hard start to his life) has left him with a nature that sometimes… asks what some may consider to be too many questions. Yes, it can get frustrating, but I try to take in stride and handle it with humor.
So what follows are the answer to a selection of the questions he asked during the first hour or so of Episode II. I’m not going to print the questions. Mostly because I think it’s funnier that way.
- That’s Padme.
- Padme, from Episode I.
- The girl from Episode I.
- Just watch.
- Yes.
- That’s Dorme.
- That’s Padme.
- Mace Windu.
- Yes, that’s Yoda.
- Yes, he is green.
- Yes, he does have big ears.
- That’s Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- Anakin.
- Qui-Gonn Jinn.
- No, Obi-Wan.
- Yes, Obi-Wan is the master.
- Blue, maybe? Either blue or green.
- Yes, Jar Jar does talk funny.
- That’s short for Anakin.
- Padme.
- The same girl from before. And from Episode I.
- Zam Wesell.
- Bad guy, I guess.
- Just a regular spaceship.
- Yeah, they’re kinda like bugs, I guess.
- Yes, R2-D2 is using a flashlight (aside to Grace: “That’s one of his apps”)
- Yes, he jumped through the window.
- No, they’re not trying to kill her, just catch her.
- Zam Wesell.
- Still a bad guy.
- Just to catch her.
- No, she’s a girl.
- Yes, still a bad guy.
- Zam Wesell.
- No, Zam.
- That’s a toxic dart. That’s why Obi-Wan picked it up and said, “Toxic dart.”
- Mace Windu.
- Yeah, he is pretty cool.
- I don’t know why he has four arms.
- Those are padawans.
- That means they’re not ready to be Jedi yet.
- No, that’s the new queen.
- No, Padme is a senator now, not the queen.
- Padme is Amidala. That’s her name: Padme Amidala.
- Yeah, but she’s not the queen anymore.
- No, that’s a different queen.
- Just watch.
- No, just watch.